Have you ever dreamt of being a extremely stunning with a body like model, that whatever you placed on your bod it automatically looked liked you stepped off the catwalk of New York fashion week. If only…
I know it is not as glamorous as we perceive, but the thought of wearing designer clothes and being an A-Lister for day seems to thrill me . I love fashion and try to to stay trendy but with my ever expanding waistline and food to mouth syndrome(I don’t eat alot I eat all the wrong stuff) I guess I can only dream.
I love summer and the fashion that comes with it. The shorter hemline, bright colours and the list goes on. What scares me is every summer I seem to have put on extra weight from winter and those new short shorts and crop tops seems more daunting than flattering. I am not that old and should not be dealing with issues of weight ever! Who am I kidding, I hate the gym with a passion and hate diets it even has the word DIE in it lol. So this brings me to my sad state of affairs.
While at gym yesterday (I try) I realized that numbers on a scale can either make you happy or send you straight into a deep state of depression, which in my case sends me straight to binge eating.
So clearly I am the problem and I am fully aware of this. Gym is supposed to make me feel good about my body and be motivating where in my case it does the opposite. I go because I am paying and should show face I really hate it ! I even opted for a woman’s gym because at a normal gym I feel like everyone is staring at me. (all in my head I know this)
Every year I tell myself I am going to lose 10 kgs and every year I seem to make the same promise. I am a girl of my word but when it comes to making promises to myself I easily let it slip and just continue with life. This issue is turning into a problem though. I love who I am and the person am striving to be but the person I see in the mirror not so sure. I need help and reasonably cheap help. It’s not that I don’t want to shed the extra pounds I really do, I just cannot find anything I can stick to. (story of my life)
If only I had a fast metabolism, could eat whatever and enjoyed gym. Life would be sweet literally.