On Tuesday while I was at the gym (yes I made it to the gym) not despising it as much lately. After a hard session I reward myself with a sauna session I have to make the gym somewhat enjoyable. Anyways back to the point, I go to an all women’s gym and it has a spa section with a sauna and Jacuzzi and tanning section. While I was basking in the heat of the sauna I overheard a conversation happening in the Jacuzzi by two newly weds.
I guess this was there time to vent and they both understood what the other was going through. I am not near marriage and frankly see it as a distant thing that may happen in my future. What fascinated me by this conversation was, that every time either one of the women said something the other would agree and this made me think the issues they were experiencing must be rather common.
I don’t think of marriage often but I am a romantic at heart and would appreciate the extra wooing that goes into it before marriage happens. What I learnt from these two chatting away was that they missed that wooing too and the extra attention.
They often felt that their spouse does truly love them but forgets to show it and it is less frequent than it used to be before they got married. I distinctly remember the one woman saying she has only been married for four months but the honeymoon phase she wished would never end has ended and she has turned into a routine wife.(already after 4 months!)
She understands that her husband no longer has to fight for her attention as he has caught his prey if I use it in a primal context and therefore she should just know he cares and loves her and they both not going anywhere.
While I understand that I feel in cases like this which I am sure occurs all too often one should not hesitate even if you personally think its a little silly, you must tell him how you feel. You not expecting candle lit dinners and rose petals every night but the occasional, wow you look beautiful I am so glad I married you will do the trick.
Like I have said before I am far from any love or marriage guru but this conversation just made me think. Like in life we often get sucked into the system of society and routines that we often never deviate off the so called “life path”. I am not saying be reckless but I am saying live more and don’t forget the small things in life and especially in a marriage. Marriage is hard work and most people often just get sucked into the idea of being married that two is better than one and everything will be okay once we married.
I am also not saying don’t get married! God created Marriage and it is a beautiful thing once you feel you have met your life partner that should be celebrated and taken very seriously. What I am saying is enjoy the good the bad in riches or poorer and in sickness and health parts of the marriage. Don’t let a second go by without thinking about your wife or husband and remember to to tell each other how much you love and care for them even when you angry.
Life is short and marriage is tough and every month together must be celebrated. When you made those vows to each other God was your witness and it should be taken as a lifelong commitment to each other. When things get tough try and think back to when you met and why you got married in the first place.
Your marriage can be a lifelong Honeymoon phase if you try and learn something new together everyday,grow together, talk to each other not at each other, listen to each other and most importantly don’t forget to have FUN. Try very hard not to get caught in the life cycle of routines and just remember that small things matter. With life and marriage you need it to be well balanced in order to run a smooth ship but those rough seas do come and it forces you to face it head on together instead of running away. (what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger)
That’s just my opinion on love, marriage, life matters but then again what do I know, I am just a singleton who happened to overhear a conversation.
I am always interested to hear your thoughts so let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree! ( sorry for the long post hope it makes sense)