Have you ever felt like you were running a race but you not really sure where the finish line is… I kind of feel like that has been my life lately a constant go and even when I do take a water break it doesn’t really feel like a break. Welcome to the crazy world of me, (please let me know if I am not alone in this race.)
I realised something over the weekend that most likely was quite apparent but to me the penny had not yet dropped until I had this realisation the other day.
My rat race lifestyle constantly on the go finding the next best thing that will keep me inspired or give that high for awhile seems like its a race against time. I am deadly afraid of the inevitable getting older scenario….. (30) I feel like the stereotypical tales of generations past haunt me. The ideological way of thinking that these things must be done in your 20’s and when you 30 it is time to buck up, no more frivolous misdemeanour’s and spontaneous decisions to jump ship and do something strange will be acceptable anymore.
I hate the system and believe my generation is rebelling against it. Do not get me wrong it works for some. I am a carefree spirit trapped by what if’s so how care free I am really. I have learnt to let go of the negative and embrace the positive that has brought me great joy. I have learnt to focus on the person and not the noise that may surround them. I have learnt that friends will come and go and that we should not hold on too tightly. I have learnt life happens you can be on top of the world one second and lower than low the next.
I have learnt to let go and enjoy the ride and I have learned what real meaningful conversations are. I have seen the sun rise and the sunset all in one day. I have had the privilege to travel near and far and meet interesting people along the way. I have realised sooner than later not to settle and that my wandering mind will lead me into uncharted waters. I think most importantly the main thing I am finally starting to accept is that it is ok to fail and I will most likely never have everything ever figured out.
I still wish to experience true love a love that conquers all that love you just know you know. There are so many things I still wish to discover, and I know I will in due time. I love my family but I need to be on my own. I need to learn not to compare my life’s tale with others.( remember the parable of the tortoise and the hare) As for my wandering mind that continues to wander, I will close by saying, it’s ok not to know the end, one thing that is guaranteed is, the end for today will not be the same tomorrow.
While trolling Youtube I found this young man, I love spoken word and I feel like he read my mind with this piece hope you enjoy it!
Peace love and Happiness