I was that girl when I turned 20 I was afraid of turning 30 I was one year closer, and I could see 30 looming over my head like a Thunderstorm looming in the air. To me, 30 was old when you just turned 20.
In my mind and the futures, I had seen before meant by 30 I needed to have my shit together. By 30 I would have to have a career, and if I like it an extra bonus, I would have to be married and have my 2,5 kids living a life to please my family.
So at 20, I saw this roadmap laid out before me and everything I saw made me scared to my core. I had just basically finished school entering into another 4 years of University at least my Uni years would buy me time, and I would be somewhat on the gage of fulfilling this new 10-year plan that has just crept up on me.
So in my crazy Uni years, I met a guy we dated for the duration of my uni life according to this new clock that I inherited when I turned 20 I was off to a good start. I had the College boyfriend I was a full-time student if things worked out we will get married both finish our studies find jobs we would thrive in and be on our way to creating a beautiful family. I would have reached my goal at 30 years old. Parents would be happy, and society would be applauding.
Then fast forward to 40 I would have completely lost my identity in my husband my kids and this pretty family picture we painted. I would be filled with to-do lists that drives me crazy and seem emotionally unstable in my pantry where I am allowed to lose my cool for 5 minutes.
I am just cynical if that were my life I would embrace it for what it was and no disrespect to those living that life, but I knew when I woke up on my 20th birthday in Australia on my first overseas trip, my journey would play out differently, and so it did. I wanted an extraordinary life I wanted more than what society deemed was the only way this mould that was perceived to be perfect I tried to break it and so I did, and I went on to pave my own path.
I had an incredible time in my 20’s learning, working, traveling, laughing and crying all the things. I went through a roller-coaster because I was figuring things out on my own terms. I was the poster child for young wild and free. But at the same time, I wished I cherished those years more I was so consumed by trying to have my life sorted the closer I got to 30. So, you 20 something reading this don’t worry too much about your future because these years are so crucial in cultivating your future without putting extra pressures on yourself. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you now just go with it, this is the journey you must endure.
Everyone told me getting older is great and that I will love my 30’s I was like:” I am holding on to my 20 something young wild and free persona for as long as humanly possible” and boy did I.
Then 30 rolled in and I didn’t magically combust because I had no life plan. I continued doing the same things I always did even the bad habits of eating like a college kid.
Then something within me said stop, and everything changed, I changed, I didn’t want to be the young wild and free person I had become and loved. Was I finally growing up?
I came to terms with the fact that I am older and that I need to start looking after my body, eating correctly and exercise was going to have to become part of my life. Crazy drinking nights that used to be fun was no longer appealing to me. (I still enjoy a good dance session and drink here, and there I am not entirely dull.) Now I needed to get to know myself all over again. Try different things find my new voice. “Who am I?” Something I frequently burst out saying because I have changed for the better and I finally feel like I am thriving feeling more fulfilled and purpose-driven because of the lessons I learned during my 20’s?
So now it all makes sense when people say your 20’s are the golden years to fail fast and hard try and do everything learn as much as you can and keep discovering who, what you are. You not supposed to have it all figured out you supposed to live young wild and free. These are the years for you to discover so you can thrive in your 30’s.
By the time you hit your 30’s, you will know what you won’t tolerate you may start being more confident your priorities will change, and you will mature it’s all part of life something we can’t stop, and I can’t believe I was afraid of it. ( I use 30’s loosely this could happen at any age, but for me, it started to become more evident now in my 30’s.)
I am just getting started to live my best life not according to anybody’s standards but following my path and my spiritual journey has really made my life so much better. Letting go of fear and trusting in my maker has transformed me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. So remember to enjoy the journey and not get fixated on your destination and compare your time to others. I by no means have things all figured out, I am just learning to trust my journey and not let the things of this world sway me.
This would be the advice I would give to my younger self, and I am hoping it can help you no matter what season you may be in, enjoy the journey and love the ever-growing changing person you becoming along the way.
Peace love and Happiness!