I realised I am not that young anymore and I cannot hold on to my Youth forever. That realisation makes me very sad because I am still trying to figure things out. While on my search for life fulfillment and purpose I have learnt many things.
I was that girl that never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I finished school still didn’t know, took a gap year, still didn’t know. Decided to study Marketing still don’t know why and I have a degree that I don’t think I am really using to the best of its ability. I knew I had to study something and was lucky enough to have a family that would support me.
I got a job as Marketing assistant after I studied and nothing could ever prepare me for the real world. I took the job with a smile and wanted to be the best I could be but that job took the life out me. With no real experience I did the best I could do
It was a year of loathing work and partying hard over weekends. I was completely lost and confused and things were spiraling out of control so much so that my body started giving in. I went for so many tests and was taking so much medication I was even on antidepressants. I truly hated the life I was living at that point,in the situations I was in. I worked hard felt bullied at times and was really depressed and when I returned I hated everything about my work life.
After working there for a year I had enough I resigned. It was a sad day for many in the office I was the life of the office planned all the social events tried to keep everyone happy all the time still while trying to sell our main product. No easy task with so many personalities to please and you not really sure what you doing.
I eventually left and was unemployed for 6 months Interviews became my job still not sure what I truly wanted to do. Eventually found a job an internship I was so desperate at the time that I took the job pay was bad but it was better than nothing. I realised that I would rather be happy than a slave to a job for a good pay.
Now I sit here reflecting on on the past year since I took that job. Tomorrow marks exactly a year and I am still here now the Office Manager still trying to keep everyone happy and still confused.
I have learnt so much over the last year about myself and what my true passions are; I started this blog never knew I loved writing as much (still not sure if I am any good) I love photography and plan on learning more once I can afford a decent camera and videos my love for YouTube has grown so much as I can see the possibilities the platform holds. I love the creative behind the scenes PR and social media work I do with Out of Africa dance Academy and I finally managed to save up money to fulfill my other passion of traveling.
So yes things are definitely a step up from a year ago and I pray that things will only get better and I can use my talents to bring blessings over all the lives that I touch through my various adventures through life.
I would not be able to be where I am right now without the ongoing support of my family, Its been a tough year for us God has really been testing us but we are all strong and still doing our thing. Life is tough and the reality of it is Life is only going to get tougher but what sets us apart from falling into a rut is how we deal with those tough times.
I don’t have a clue where I will be in the next year, but what I do know is that I will never stop trusting God to help me and guide me to live a purpose driven life.
My message to all those young and old that still don’t really know whats going on…. take the good days with the bad days never give up, trust God, try and learn something new everyday and help someone everyday! Make this your daily mantra change starts with you no matter how big or small it may be it all counts!!
I think I got carried away with my deep diva moments lol I really hope you have read this and it makes sense always interested in hearing your opinions so leave me comment.
5 thoughts on “Young and Confused”
It definitely make sense to me. I applaud you for having the courage to leave your job knowing you are unhappy and dissatisfied with it. I think by doing what you like, is really a blessing and I am eager to find out my passion too!
Thanks for your comment It was one of the biggest hurdles I had to face leaving that job I was truly unhappy. I am much happier now still confused but I think I am closer to finding my true calling!! I really pray you find your passion too and just remember sometimes we need those tough times to help us see where we should really be!! xxx
Thanks! I hope so too! Yeah.. tough times are meant to help us to discover one self. Happiness is just so important.
Wow, this was such an inspiring read. Truly, the feling of being Young and confused is one that has alot of folks caged, me inclusive.. I love the simplicity with which you write and inspire. Mehn you are good…
Wow thank you so much for this comment, means so much to me that you can relate and feel inspired!!